Whatever It Was
by Shiroi Ryuu
Summary: Chapter Four: Falling in love is a very strange thing, especially if it's with a friend.
1. There's More Than What Meets the Eye

**WHATEVER IT WAS**

By Shiroi Ryuu

Chapter One:  There's More Than What Meets the Eye 

"Hitomi!  Are you there?!"  I was knocking so hard at her door, feeling jumpy and excited.  I almost held my breath when she replied, her voice muffled by the wall and door between us.  "Just a minute!!"

Good thing she was there, I thought.  I needed her help with something.

Hitomi opened the door, her eyes half-opened, and her hair was messy.  She was in her nightgown (the one Mil lent her) yet.  The moment she saw me, she quickly rubbed her eyes and opened them fully.

"What's up?" she asked, trying to suppress her yawns.

"You said you'd help me track down the enemy with my eyes closed, right?!"  I was excited to do it, because Zaibach was already gaining power over our forces with those super Meta Claws and Invisibility Cloaks.  I must admit they were really neat, even if they all worked for my brother.  Never mind.

Hitomi looked at me incredulously.  "Do you know what time it is?!"

Nope, I didn't.  But I guess when someone asks you that question, the automatic answer was:  It's too early.

"Er, okay, maybe later," I concluded, preparing to turn away from Hitomi.

As I backed away, I heard Hitomi giggling.  Why that little--! 

"Van, I was only asking you the time!  I didn't say it's too early or something!  I just woke up before you even knocked, you know."

Wow, she _is_ original.  They don't call her strange for nothing.

I whirled around.  Hitomi was still standing outside her door in her ankle-length gown, grinning at me.  I couldn't help but feel a smile tug at my lips.  "Yeah, right, Hitomi."

Hitomi's grin faded into a smile.  "Wait a minute.  I'll just dress up, okay?  I got this white dress from Millerna yesterday.  I think I want to try it out."  Then she disappeared and locked the door behind her.

A white dress?  It was hard thinking of Hitomi in it.  Anyway, I thought about Zaibach's hi-tech war apparatus while I looked at the Mystic Moon outside. 

I waited only for a moment.  Hitomi was already in her white dress.  Maybe it would be useless to tell you that I felt my face grow hot when I saw her.  When she smiled, I thought my stomach did a swan dive and fluttered in my gut.  I never felt so different in my life.

"Well?  What do you think?"  Hitomi's smile reached from ear to ear, as if she was totally satisfied in making me blush so hard.  

"It looks different… for a change."  I said, trying to keep it on the safe side.  On the other hand, I really thought she looked like an angel in that dress.  She looked so simple and gentle and everything… geez. 

Hitomi laughed.  "Well, you'll easily get tired of me in my school uniform."

"Right."  We went outside the castle and into the training room.

Allen and the others were there.  Merle was there also, laughing at Gaddes' (sometimes sick) jokes.  I glanced at Hitomi sideways as soon Allen came into view, and saw her blushing slightly.  I was annoyed.  I noticed how much she was taken to Allen lately, especially since the time we went to his fort (he kissed her in front of everybody.  And Hitomi thought it was for real) Oh, damn Allen to hell, I thought.  It was all I could do from ordering him out of the room, which I really can't.

I felt Hitomi tugging at my shirt. 

"Omigod!  Allen's here!!"  She squealed in a tiny voice, her cheeks flushing harder.  I smiled limply at her.  There was nothing I could do about that.  

Fortunately, Merle came to us, still shaky from Gaddes' comic relay.  "Hi, Lord Van!" she greeted, eyeing Hitomi with disdain.  I never really got her to be nice to Hitomi.  "And what are you doing here?"

Hitomi frowned and said haughtily, "I'm going to help Van."

Merle looked at her suspiciously for a second, then her eyes grew impossibly round. "Oooh…!  I forgot you were a psychic!"

I looked sideways at Hitomi, but she looked back at me as if Merle's taunting never affected her at least.  Honestly, I think it really didn't matter to her.

"So," Hitomi took my hand, making my insides turn cartwheels, "shall we start now?"

Merle turned up her nose and declared, "I'm going where Lord Van goes!"  But I think she saw the look in my eye so she added, "Maybe later."  Then she scampered off.

And at that moment, Allen approached us, making Hitomi drop my hand and her cheeks turn pink.  "Hi, Allen," she said shyly.

Allen smiled at her, and I felt stupid for some reason.  What does he have that turns Hitomi on, anyway?!  But I didn't have time to think about that.  Allen had started talking to Hitomi.

"What are you doing up so early?" he had chivalrously offered a comfortable seat for Hitomi as he spoke.  

Hitomi sat down on the soft hay, blushing furiously. "I- I was going to help Van with his techniques and stuff."

"Such as?" he queried, and he turned to look at me with an annoying twinkle in his eye.

"You know how Zaibach had acquired Steal Cloaks, and I'm going to teach Van how to sense them, or to feel where they are."

Even if she was a strange girl, I could see she was human, feeling that she talked too much or something.  I'll say that, because she clammed up and sat quietly, her eyes directed to the floor.  It was up to me to save her from feeling that she was embarrassing herself. 

"C'mon, Hitomi, let's go to the field."

Allen then stood up.  "Well, Hitomi, I guess I'll see you around."  And he bent down to kiss her hand.

I felt like kicking Allen.

Once we got out, Hitomi suddenly burst out, "Whew!  For a while there, I was feeling mighty uncomfortable."

"Even with the comfortable seat he offered you?"  I said shrewdly, giving her a half-smile.

"Well, he is a gentleman," Hitomi sighed melodiously (it was irritating, if you want to know.  But I kept my mouth shut.), leaning against a huge shady tree.  "Wasn't he so… beautiful?"

I could say Hitomi did get a thrill out of all that.  I didn't.  So I sat down on the grass and took out my sword.  Hitomi must've noticed that I did say anything, so she sat down on the grass and looked on the insignia of my sword. 

"Nice sword.  It's really sharp, isn't it?  You said your dad gave it to you--," she hesitated, then said, "and not to your brother, right?"

I kept looking down on my sword, checking for sides that needed forging. "It was his in the first place," I said stiffly, "but then he died, anyway.  Or at least I thought he did.  He was a damn coward."

I looked up and saw Hitomi staring wistfully at the ground.  "Look, Hitomi.  What's the use of talking about him?  You said you're going to teach me, right?  Anyway, it won't do any good to any of us if we talk about it anymore.  Come on."  I stood up, offering my hand so she could stand up.  She took it. 

Hitomi then took out the red pendant from inside her collar.  She held it out in front of her an arm's length, and closed her eyes.  "Come on, Van.  Hide anywhere near the gorse bushes.  I'll track you."

I quickly went behind her, as quietly as I could.  After five seconds, she whirled around and pointed at me.  "I see you."

"That was quick." 

"Because that's too obvious.  Sometimes, enemies think like children.  I bet if Dilandau were here right now he'd also go behind me.  It's Rule Number One, I think."

"Go for the obvious first?"

"Right.  If you've noticed, I did it with my eyes closed."

"Here, you try it… but let's see you do that without the pendant and with your eyes closed."

I stared at her.  "That's hard."

"Don't say that.  Have you even tried it?  Now, close your eyes." 

I shut my eyes tight, trying to hear all sounds at once.  All I heard were crows flapping their wings and cawing on the treetops.  My heart was beating nervously.  What if I mess up?  

I turned to the left.  "Are you there Hitomi?"  I opened my eyes.  She wasn't.  Hitomi was giggling, a foot away from me. 

"You look so cute when your eyes are shut tight like that," she teased, covering her mouth to stop more giggles coming.  I exasperatedly cocked my head to one side and peered at her.  "Duh.  I am trying to get this okay?!"

Hitomi smiled.  "Close your eyes."

For a moment I hesitated, then closed it.  Hitomi began talking in a slow way, "The key to finding the enemy is the focusing of your heart to a certain thing.  It may be anything; a memory or a person you'll never forget.  Once you see it, and something distracts it, imagine that this new sensation is a person or thing that is trying to take that special person or thing away from you.  You will be suddenly hit with a pain and a light of recognition… then you would know where the enemy is."

I opened my eyes. "Is that effective?"  I noticed Hitomi grew quiet.  She was looking down on the grass, and I thought I saw a tear trickle down her eye.  But she looked up and smiled.  "Yeah.  It's surprising how it manages to work every time.  It _is_ kind of fuzzy, but any way that works for me must also work for you."

"But why do you have to think so much?  I always thought you'd have to keep your mind clear all the time."

"Van, some things are more than what meets the eye.  There is always another way in doing things." Then she grew quiet again.  I nodded, letting her know I understood.

"And there are some things that you'd never know existed in a certain object, or person perhaps… you know, those things you never thought could be found in them, stuff like that."

"Hidden talents?" I watched the sun as it rose higher into the sky.  

"Sort of," Hitomi suddenly put a hand on my shoulder.  "But I have to warn you."

"About what?"

"Using the technique I told you.  Remember what you're seeing inside your head is not real… the pain can be so unbearable sometimes," Hitomi said, smiling sadly.

"And you've been hurt a million times?  By some thing that just runs inside your head?"

She nodded.  "But I have to do it, or else I wouldn't be of help at all.  At the same time, I'm teaching you this so you could have an easy time battling the Alseides.  I know you'll work hard, but I know you'll also overdo it."

"Are you worried?  I mean, I'll try not to overdo it or anything.  But what if I fail to concentrate enough?"

Hitomi didn't answer that one.  The silence permitted the smell of roast beef and peppered potatoes from the kitchen. 

"It's almost time for lunch," Hitomi sniffed the air.  

"Race you to the castle."  

Hitomi snapped up from sniffing, and turned to me, grinning.  "If you're up to it."

"Well then—" 

We raced all the way to the castle. 

**OWARI**

A/N: 'Nuther Esca fic! How nice can life get?! Anyways, I've got everything planned out spontaneously in my mind… I hope you guys liked this chapter—it's been a deliriously crazy long time since I posted something… I had bouts of writer's confusion.  My feelings were sort of mixed-up.  Anyways, 'ope ya give a review to this crazy fic!! Hehe! Ü!


	2. Holding Back

Whatever It Was Chapter Two- Holding Back 

_…I'm one step closer to the edge, and I'm about to…_

Three weeks came and went like a big rush of wind.  It was now the beginning of the sixth month… and also meant the start of the Energist War.

I spent those three weeks training with Allen, but I equally spent time practicing with Hitomi in the mornings as soon as I woke up, and from early evening before dinner.  I often skipped dinner anyway, and Merle usually came to the thicket where we usually practiced with a basket of what was on the table.  It was the best time I had in ten years.  We talked about a lot of things during that span of time… those things that I never mentioned to anybody that I really wanted to talk about.  It came as surprising to me that a girl from another world would be the one to let me open up about these things.

And… and I feel like I'm one the verge of something… but I don't know what.

I decided to forget about that anyway.  The only time I got to analyze everything on my mind was the time I stared at the ceiling of my room, when the fire flickers and slowly begins to die.  It was a horrible moment, because all that happened in the past floods back to me.  It was like waves pounding on the rocky shores of my mind.

The attack starts tomorrow.  I'm up on the roof, looking down on the glistening wet ground.  The Moon hang overhead in the sky, big and glowing white.  I was enjoying the silence; I was really trying to savor these last moments of calm before the thunder of war would echo down the valley.  But something stirred behind me.  I snapped my head up and turned, seeing Hitomi's familiar figure outlined in the dark.

"Hey, what are you doing up here?  You might take cold." Hitomi went and sat beside me.  I felt like shivering, but I think that didn't have anything to do with the cold.  

"I never take cold."  I answered half-indignantly. 

"Right.  Well, I don't want you sneezing in battle.  Dilandau might think you're trying a new maneuver at him."  She laughed and looked at the Moon, her eyes shining like it.

"I was just trying to enjoy the silence."  But the truth was, I was quite happy that Hitomi went up here to remind me of that.  "But how did you know I was up here?"

Hitomi laughed.  "That's one of my psychic abilities."

"I'm surprised you knew where I am."

Hitomi looked at me and smiled.  "Can't help it.  I went looking for you, but Merle wouldn't tell me where you are.  She said you made her promise not to tell anybody of your whereabouts."  

"I just don't want anybody to disturb my privacy," I replied off-handedly.

Hitomi looked as if she would rise up and go.  "Am I disturbing you?"

"No! I mean," I paused and felt heat creeping into my cheeks. "It's okay if you stay here."

Hitomi sat down again and leaned against my shoulder.  I felt like my insides were floating and frogs were leaping on my stomach.  

"That's why I always come up here, to think about things.  The Moon seems to give some insight."  I was surprised that I didn't seem to recognize the voice that came out of my mouth.  I tried hard not to think of Hitomi's head resting on my shoulder.

Hitomi was silent for a minute.  

"You know what?  When I see the Moon at home I never wondered of people living outside of our planet.  But when I look at the Moon here—," lifted her head and looked at me.  "It amazes me to think that I'm far away from what I really believe.  It's weird to find myself here beside you, in a place I never knew existed, and all that."  She sighed.  "and far away from those you love."

"I bet you really want to go home."  I suddenly felt sad for some reason.  The thought of Hitomi not contented here, I guess.  And there was absolutely not much chance to take her back as soon as possible… as if I wanted that to happen. 

Hitomi sighed.  "Sometimes.  But no, I guess I really don't want to.  I'm just homesick."  She laughed and touched my forearm so I would turn and look at her.  

"Just take care of yourself tomorrow, okay?  Don't worry so much about me.  I mean… I'm not in a hurry to go home yet.  When you look at me like that I feel sad for a reason. So—," she glanced at the Moon, then stood up.

"Coming with me?"

"Okay." I stood up and followed her into the tower window.  We walked in total silence, and in the pale flicker of the torches Hitomi never looked so beautiful.

_I'm about to…_

When we reached her room (which were six doors away from mine), she smiled at me and said goodnight.  I smiled and started to turn away from her to go to my room, when she flung her arms around me for a moment.  I was struck still when she let go and cast a last look at me.  Then I realized…

I was falling in love.

A.N: what the heck was THAT?! Anyways, it's the second chapter of this ficcie.  Sorry if it wasn't satisfying… I'm trying to find a space for my thoughts and everything… hehe… I found it strange, though.  There are a lot of hidden implications in this fic.  And twists! I've always loved twists!  Hehe.. there'll be lost of that…!! Well, gotta jet! C'ya in the next chappie! Heehee!! ^_^

Ja!

ESaR


	3. Hitomi to Hoshi (Eyes and Stars)

WHATEVER IT WAS 

Chapter 3

Hitomi to Hoshi

(Eyes and Stars)

I look into your eyes

And all I see is loneliness

Slowly creeping up my heart

Like worms on the pavement

After a rainy day

I try to smile but I see you

Looking at the source of my pain

His blue eyes capture your heart

And I shrink slowly 

With no one to take my hand 

As I silently cry

Endless hours pass by

Sadly, with no relief

The pain is killing me 

My heart is in shreds 

Like cheese on top of 

What do you call it

Spaghetti

If only you could see my face

And the frustration set on it

I knew you'd say

Don't rush it, it's okay

But how could I 

If you keep on looking in his eyes

And melting like ice

On a lovely spring day

There's some comfort at least

That you tell me all

We're friends and I hold your hand

And you cry on my shoulder

Of course... for him again

The pain rises but I continue to fall

When I tell you the things

I never dream of saying

To anyone else but you

There's something in my heart

That I so want to say

But how could I when I tell you

That you and him are going to be

All right

It kills me

You are my friend

Probably the one I wished for 

But never had 

And came true

They granted me my wish

The gods could see

But they never knew 

That my wish would leave me 

Unsatisfied

Oh, how I wish for you

But now not all dreams come true

As if I could reach the stars

Your friendship is not enough

I want your love

But the chicken strikes again...

I'm afraid to say it.

And his blue eyes stand in the way

_I wonder if, you, my star_

_I'll ever reach_

_The skies seem merciless_

_And won't let me hold you_

_If it takes forever, _

_I'm sure I'll be waiting_

_For you, my star, to fall for me too._

A/N: hey, I think it's been too long since I left out a chapter for you peeps to read.  Tell me what you think of chapter three! Reviews are so nicely appreciated... J  Any ideas for the fourth chap? I'm all dried up right now... lack of inspiration, I guess.


	4. Who Do You Love?!

Chapter Four: Who do you love?!  
  
  
That morning Millerna gave a startling announcement:  
  
"I'm getting married."  
  
All of us at the breakfast table froze in shock. What did she just say? I noticed Allen and Hitomi had turned white, Merle had sent her fork clattering on the marble floor, while Eries, the only one of us who didn't seemed shocked at all, wore a nonchalant expression. "Quite right. She has come of age, and father has been persuading her to get married for a long while now."  
  
I'm not sure of how I reacted, but Merle piped up and said in a drawly voice. "How about you, Princess Eries? When will you get married?"   
  
Well, I think she touched a sore spot, because Eries disdainfully looked at her from her aristocratic nose. "I think, Merle, that Millerna will do an efficient job taking over the kingdom with her chosen husband, and as I'm not so keen on running the kingdom, I choose to keep myself to quiet life... and it is really none of your business if I get married or not." Her tone was icy, and her eyes were cold.   
  
Hitomi spoke into the silence that followed. "Who's the lucky guy, Millerna?"  
  
Millerna's eyes rested on Allen for a second, then she smiled at Hitomi. "Dryden Fassa."  
  
"REALLY?!" I exclaimed before I could stop and think. "That super-rich guy funding for ZAIBACH?"  
  
Allen met my eyes with a cool gaze. "Mr. Fassa seems to think that his loyalties better lie with our side. Besides, he's Don't worry about it."  
  
"N-no, I was just surprised." Great. Now I had to embarrass myself-- in front of Hitomi, at that. But when I looked up, she caught my gaze. She was trying not to laugh. I made up my mind to go up and talk to her, Allen or no Allen.  
  
Millerna looked flushed. "The wedding's not to start until next month." She answered everybody's next question. Great girl.  
  
Hitomi stood up from her chair and gave Millerna a hug. "I'm so happy for you!"  
  
Millerna smiled, but I could tell it was forced at any time. Her blue eyes were sad as darted from Hitomi's, to Merle's, to mine-- and to Allen's. "Thanks."  
  
After that, Allen rose from his chair and cleared his throat. "Excuse me, please." And with a quick nod, he left.   
  
Eries rose up too, and in the same fashion, she left.  
  
As soon as the door clicked shut, Millerna suddenly burst out. "I don't want to get married!" Tears had begun to fall from her eyes.  
  
"But why? I mean, Dryden's pretty good." Hitomi asked.   
  
"I didn't want to get married to him at all. Father forced me. He said it was a good thing if Dryden would team up with our side, but--" Millerna sobbed, wiping her eyes with her napkin. "I don't love Dryden."  
  
"Whoa. But you really don't wanna get married at all, do you?" asked Merle, her mouth full of fish.  
  
"I do want to."   
  
"Then why are you complaining? I mean, Dryden's better than nothing." Merle said haughtily, as if she'd been married for fifty years.  
  
"I told you I don't want Dryden."  
  
"Then-- who do you love?"  
  
"Allen."  
  
I saw Hitomi's worried expression turn into a slight frown. Good ol' Allen with the ladies' charm.  
  
"Well, why won't you tell your Father that you don't want to marry him?" I asked, although I knew particularly well how King Ashton would react.  
  
"Father!?" Millerna spat out the word as if it were poison. "He never listens to me. He didn't care for my interests or anything, he just looks out for himself and his riches--" Here she let out a bitter chuckle. "If I hadn't run away the first time he wouldn't have allowed me to take up Medicine."  
  
Hitomi was silent. She was staring down at Millerna's soup plate. "When you love someone, you have to go against all odds to be with him..."  
  
I guess Millerna's not the only one who should follow her advice.  
  
"And how did Allen react to this?" Hitomi asked, meeting my gaze.  
  
Millerna sighed and looked down. "He just congratulated me and left. Sometimes I just wanted to slap him."  
  
"I'll do it for you if you want, Princess." Merle smiled at Millerna innocently.   
  
"Yes, I think you better would." Millerna was supposed to say that jokingly, but her tone was so sad... I felt really sorry for her.  
  
"Anyway," she continued, her voice returning considerably back to normal, "Thank you so much for listening out, you guys. I just wanted to talk it straight out and everything. I'm going to go up already. I have to mix medicine powders. See you later." And with a soft rustle of her skirt, she left.  
  
~O~  
  
"Why is she like that?!" Hitomi threw yet another stone in the pond. We were standing on a wooden bridge over the pond. "Why wouldn't she stand up for what she believes in? I mean, King Ashton is a-- a tyrant!"  
  
I looked bemusedly at her and chuckled, "Tell him that."  
  
"I don't understand why it has to be that way."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Arranged marriages."   
  
"It's always like that here in Gaea. But of course, mom and dad were married for love." It hurt a little to say that, but I was proud of it.  
  
"Well, with us it has always been for love," she threw another stone, which hit the edge of the pond wall. "And arranged marriages were for the bygone days. I mean, if ever parents arrange the marriage it always leads to divorce later on."  
  
"It's different here, Hitomi. You really have to obey what your parents tell you to do. You just have to be lucky enough if your parents spoil you or kind enough. Here, parents are given a right to punish their subjects-- or children in any form they wish--"  
  
"You mean?" Hitomi's eyes widened with horror.  
  
"Yeah... it also gives them the right to kill."  
  
"They couldn't! Their offspring," Hitomi almost choked.  
  
"Yeah, they can. Millerna's lucky somehow. King Ashton holds morals and principles of his own. But you should see his ancestors," I said slowly. "They killed almost everybody in Asturia."  
  
"What the heck? You mean Mil's gonna get killed if she doesn't marry Dryden?"  
  
"Well, if King Ashton's that sort of father," I replied. "But he's not. You see, Millerna should be thankful."  
  
"I don't see why you can't be with the one you love." She spoke so quietly, staring down at the red fish swimming below.   
  
"It's not always like that, you know. If the one you love has great connections, then--"  
  
"It's hell."   
  
"It's not. Parents look out for the common good of everybody. You know, economy and stuff--"  
  
"IT'S ALL ABOUT MONEY!!" Hitomi spat, her hands shaking as they held onto the rail of the bridge. Her eyes were sparking fire in them, and I was glad not to be the subject of her anger.  
  
"Cool it, Hitomi," I tried to calm her down. She was still shaking, but she wasn't that white anymore. I was relieved. "Arranged marriages also teach us something."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Learning to love someone you don't love is really a beautiful thing. You get married and hate each other first, but there will come a time that you'll realize how much the person means to you. It's like having something over your eyes that's being slowly removed as time goes on. Love like that lasts forever."  
  
"Whoa." Hitomi stared at me. "How d'you know that? Are you in love with someone? Or betrothed or anything? How come you're not telling me?" She laughed, and I felt my face turn hot.  
  
"I'm just in love."  
  
Hitomi looked at me with quick interest. "Who is it?"  
  
"If I tell you, what will I get? More insults?" I shook my head, grinning sheepishly.  
  
"Hey! I didn't insult you or anything! How dare you!" Hitomi gave me a good hard slap on my forearm.  
  
"Oww! See, I'm not even telling you yet, and you hurt me."  
  
"VAN!! Are you telling me or not!?"  
  
"Nope. You might laugh. And why are you suddenly so curious?"  
  
"Van, I thought you were my friend..." said Hitomi in a hurt voice.  
  
"You might not want be when I tell you. I don't want your opinion of me to change."  
  
"Well, d'you know what my opinion of you is, anyway?"  
  
"No; what?"  
  
"You're a selfish, pig-headed jerk. Now if you tell me, it might really change."  
  
"Into what? Into a stupid, crazy, selfish, pig-headed jerk? No way."  
  
"Why won't you tell me? I mean, I won't tell anybody. I'm not Merle, you know."  
  
"Well-- I'll give you a clue then. Eyes." I thought it was pretty obvious, but Hitomi just looked at me blankly.  
  
"Eyes?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I don't get it."  
  
"Figure it out then."  
  
"Is that a clue?"  
  
I felt that if I talked about it any longer I might spill everything out.  
  
"Hitomi, just figure it out by yourself while I'm not around, okay? Look, I really have to go. Training will start twenty minutes. Gotta go."   
  
"Yeah, okay, well, see you.."  
  
Owari 


End file.
